Select quotes from our visit to the SPAM Museum

by The Halls

Alissa: “Why are we here?”

“Well, we had to get gas, and it’s right there…”


Perky greeter: “Can I interest you in some SPAMples?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

Amanda: “………………………………………… thanks.”

Yeah, you’ll have to brainwash me first. Like you seem to have done to this cheery, dead-eyed lady cutout.


Kim, upon viewing the phrase “pork packers” on a wagon replica (pictured above): “Hey, you could shorten that to ‘porkers’! Hahahaha”

Amanda: “Yes, that would be quite the porkmanteau.* HAHAHAHA”

*This is a play on the word “portmanteau.” Full disclosure, I had to look up the exact definition of portmanteau to make sure I was using it right. Jokes are funniest when you have to explain them, right? Thought so.


Informational placard: “Whatever you’ve heard is in SPAM luncheon meat, isn’t! Many people have made jokes about what’s in SPAM, but the ingredients list is actually short and straightforward.” [Sure.]

…because what sober person would consent to eating SPAM?


50s housewife cutout, to her husband: “What can I do for my lord and master?”

Husband: “Cook that SPAM bake a little faster!” 

Maybe she’s being sarcastic. Or maybe the 50s were the worst.


Well, it was no potato museum, but on the bright side, we didn’t stay very long.