This post is part of our “Choose your own adventure!” series. You’ll want to read the first post in the series before you read this one.
You’ve chosen to stay in the Wisconsin Dells for another day. Kim, Amanda, and Alissa, who have also decided to stick around in this sugary tourist trap, will be your companions on this quest.
When most people visit the Dells, they probably spend some time looking at the Dells.* Instead, your travel companions decide to avail themselves of the enticing Tanger Outlets, where materialistic delights abound. Flitting from Banana Republic to J. Crew to the Nike store (and then to Claire’s for a second ear piercing for Alissa), you do your part for the economy and pick up some preppy clothes to fit in with your future East coast cohorts.
Worn out from your adventure, you desperately seek a watering hole to unwind from a taxing day. You stumble into the Moose Jaw, where you join the Hall ladies in looking like a moronic tourist.
Then, on your way to the car, you get preyed upon by a moose-eating dragon. Oops! Click here to try the other option.
*In the interest of full disclosure, the Halls are still not totally sure what a dell is. A small hill, maybe? No, it must be a body of water–they were offering boat tours of them. Not important. Anyway, we didn’t look at them.